Second Chance

I never believe in writing therapy before until I decided to write down about my dark and empty feeling. Although the post may sound pathetic but somehow, afterward, that night, I slept better and able to see things in a newer perspective and a bit different angles.

The next day, the more I read my own post, the more I realize how it’ll eat me slowly. I still want to claim my own life and do the best of it. I believe my rule in this life still not over yet. I believe in Karma though when bad times come, you’ll tend to usher all the thought about your believe to the small corner of your brain and choose to pity yourself instead. It’s easier that way….

Yesterday, instead of kept blaming myself, I make a decision to volunteer at Dr’s Koffie Foundation. It’s a non profit foundation based at Dr’s koffie café which all of its profit will be 100% donated to Dr’s Koffie Foundation.
Dr’s Koffie café was established by dr. IP and Mrs. AW. Both are very special people with good spirit and their mission is to provide health care for all poor and remote ones.

We went to a little kampong nelayan by boat sponsored by navy and gave free medical care. The villager are so poor that they don’t have money to seek doctors and get any proper medical care.
I was asked to help the pharmacy section which my job was ticketing (writing down doctor prescription for each patient’s medicines)
We’re so busy that we didn’t have time to drink or pee. In just a few hours (4-5 hours) we gave out around -/+ 400 recipes.

Truly…I enjoyed it, able to channeling out some of all my dark thought for something good indeed.

We all went back to Dr’s koffie café later. At the time, all my dark mood start to sneak in my ungrateful brain again but then, dr. I and Mrs. A asked me to joined them on their table which was full with doctors (maybe my face shown out my bitterness somehow?)
Well, then, I ‘m grateful to have chance to sharing with dr. Maria, spkk. She’s very wise lady with broad perspectives about life and how to live and be alive and her willingness to share out her own life experiences was really a mind opener.

Actually, we all know about it theoretically, but, it’s different with someone told you directly. The ways the tricky mind works and digest the information gave you different understanding about how to live and how to be alive.
Happiness is not something we can seek or chase. Either do fulfillment. It’s how we do for the others how we concur ourselves, our egos.
She’s able to make me realize we just a tiny dust in this universe. What we can do for the others is more meaningful. How we create a history of our life of our deed. Held no grudge and always be positive in mind and to the others then the live will glides smoothly for us.

Well, it’s hard because we all have needs, wants and egos. We want success and achievements. We want social status and respects. Can we put them all aside to reach the true happiness and peace of mind?
Can I? Can you?...........................................